Warning / Reason
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Warning: On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
Reason: "Bubbette, what happened to your hair?" "I dunno, just woke up with this burning sensation and it was gone."
Warning:On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
Reason: "Maw, how does this soap thingy work." "Just like the one you use on the hogs at fair son."
Warning: On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
Reason: "Come here quick Bubba, we's a late for your cousin/sister's funeral and I yous collar is sticking straight up."
Warning: On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
Reason: "Anyone seen Bubba Jr. he's supposed to go down for a nap." "He can nap after he digs out that new pond over yonder. We didn't have no kids so they can sleep in the middle of the day."
Warning: On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
Reason: Bubba-san is creative!
Warning: On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
Reason: "now Jr, you get up on the house and try that thing out. We is taking it back to Wal-s-a-mart if-n it don't work." "Thanks Pa, this'll save me getting beat up on the school bus fo shore."
Warning: On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals"
Reason: "Gee Bubba, that thing cuts through trees slicker than shit, but I bet you can stop it if you put your thang on it while it's moving" "Oh all right let me try..... AHHHHH"
posted by ZEUS @ 11:05 AM,
